Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Winter Blues that even new yarn can't chase away

I have been keeping myself busy (not with knitting). I have to. This time of year stresses me out and I find myself wanting it just to go away. So many obligations that I make for myself. Decorating, making presents (because I want my friends to know that I love them enough to make them something hand made), cleaning in preparation for Christmas guests (Open House for Care Group), cooking, etc............................. The list just keeps growing. When I get stressed, I put up this shell around myself. I get fragile emotionally. The littlest things make me cry. I go around with this huge lump in my throat. I battle the deep blues. Yesterday, I fought them off by working on stripping wall border from my living room/dining room, I ironed enough clothes for 2 weeks for my husband for his office job, and I started a lace scarf for a gift. If I am going to be depressed, at least I will not be depressed about not accomplishing anything. My shoulders and neck killed me last night, but I can look at my walls with satisfaction. Today is more of the same with breaks in between to finish my Bible study lesson. Last week's closet cleaning spree has made me a want to get things done. There are so many things that I cannot do physically, but painting is not one of them. I love the smell of fresh paint! I know I am crazy, but it reminds me of our first night in this house. It is a smell of fresh, new beginnings. It is a smell that is right up there with the smell of wool, wood fire, pumpkin bread, cinnamon candles, and Bengay ointment. Thank you God for the sense of smell and the memories it brings. See, I am already in a better mood. Well, back up my ladder.

No comments: